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Now if I could just find the rewind button…
Tuesday ended on a high note and Wednesday started with a ton of promise. The day ended poorly, but as you continue to read, you will find that it was mostly my fault. Here’s the deal…
Tuesday night The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.) came over for dinner. She moved into a new house last weekend and it was stressful on her. She arrived about 15 minutes after I got home and I was putting the finishing touches on some Cuban roast pork, black beans and lime rice. I had a cold Corona waiting for her when she walked in the door and after a nice hello kiss, she hung out with Drama Queen (D.Q.) for a few minutes talking about this and that.
After dinner (which she said she really enjoyed) we all chilled on the couch watching American Idol and soon it was time for D.Q. to go to bed. She said good night and P.S.O. and I finally spent some much-needed quality time alone. It was really nice to snuggle with her on the couch. When it was time for her to leave I asked her what time I needed to be at her place in the morning and she told me a little after eight.
I offered to help P.S.O. by staying at her house Wednesday morning to wait for Time Warner. She had a short week at work since Monday was a holiday and she was taking Friday off to run me to and from some minor surgery I’m having. I knew that my waiting for the cable guy would help her out and I was happy to do it.
I woke up early Wednesday morning in a great mood. I was still on a high from our time together last night and I was looking forward to seeing her, if even for a few minutes. After making sure D.Q. was up and getting ready for school, I hopped in my car and headed down the Thruway. I rolled into Tim Horton’s near her house and grabbed some coffee just the way she likes it. So far so good.
When I arrived, she was in the bathroom drying her hair and getting ready for work, so I headed into the living room and was looking around a bit. The last time I saw the house a lot of things were in boxes. She now had pictures and knick-knacks on the shelves and I was checking them out.
Remember at the beginning I mentioned that I was a complete a-hole? Well, here it comes…
She came out into the living room and I kissed her and asked her how much flexibility she had in the time she had to leave for work and what time she thought the Time Warner guy would really show up. She told me to behave and that she really needed to get ready to leave.
She walked over to the bookshelf and was showing me some pictures of her family and explaining the significance of each one and I put my hand on her back. As I rubbed her back I noticed that she had no bra on and I made a comment about “The twins not being strapped in.” She wasn’t thrilled at that comment (nor should she have been) and continued to show me things. That wasn’t the only crappy thing I said that morning and it was far from one of my better moments.
We looked at a book of pictures from when her daughter was a baby and I did enjoy looking at her things and I do want to know more about her and her family and about what’s important to her. I certainly didn’t show it on Wednesday morning, but I am interested and I do care. I was just a complete douche and an utter tool at that moment.
I ruined her morning and I really hurt her. I wasn’t intending to hurt her, but I did. When she left the house I knew she was upset and that made me feel like crap. I sat on the couch trying to read the book I brought, but it was slow going. I kept beating myself up for what I had done, so I whipped out my BlackBerry to send an e-mail apologizing. We traded a few more back and forth over the next couple hours and I told her that her feelings are very important to me and that I didn’t want to add to the stresses and pressures of her life, but rather I wanted to be an enhancement to her life.
She e-mailed back that she loved me but that she was hurt and that this would not be THE defining moment in our relationship but rather A defining moment. We traded a couple more e-mails that morning and the long and the short of it is that I am apparently going to do a strip tease for her at some point in the near future to Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry. I guess I need to get practicing! I think that’s the least I can do to make up for hurting her.
The Time Warner guy came and went and I headed to work to deal with a myriad of stresses there. After work I went home to Drama Queen.
D.Q. has a school orchestra concert tonight and needs to have black pants and a white shirt (or a black dress) to wear for it. She doesn’t have anything that fits her, so last night we went out to get her something. The long and short of it is that she was being extremely snotty and rude. After trying on a couple dresses, I handed her a pair of black pants and a white shirt. She started to get really snotty about them and I told her that if the ‘tude continued that we would just go without getting anything and that she would not play in the concert, which BTW accounts for 25% of her grade. I did tell her that if she doesn’t play that she was going to go watch and that I didn’t care how embarrassed she was.
She got snotty again and I walked out of the store. I sent the teacher (and her counselor) an e-mail explaining the situation. D.Q. is pissed at me and told me that she wants to go live with someone else. She’s also been telling me that she hates me, to which I respond, “Get in line”.
Ironically enough, as I was typing the last paragraph, the orchestra teacher called me to tell me that he wants her to come play and to wear whatever she can. He said that the orchestra is a team thing and it’s almost exactly what P.S.O. told me in her e-mail to me a half hour ago. I love that she can tell me when I’m wrong and isn’t afraid to share her opinion on things. I totally need that.
Yesterday was a crappy day, but today seems to be getting off to a better start. I didn’t sleep well last night but I heard from P.S.O. this morning and she ended the e-mail with “xoxox” so I’m guessing that she still loves me. I continue to feel crappy about the way I treated her yesterday and I’m not going to forget it, but I won’t dwell on it. D.Q. is going to play her concert tonight and that’s probably a good thing.
I’m heading to Tim’s for some coffee (and maybe a few Timbits). I also think that I’ll throw on Sunny Hours by Long Beach Dub All-Stars. That always seems to make me feel better. Tomorrow will be a good day. I have my surgery and I get to spend the day with P.S.O. I promise that there will be a very good story about the surgery down the road. A really good story. Now if I could just find the rewind button…
J.R.
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