Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Overload (Vitamin D)

Overload (Vitamin D)
[A First Person Perspective of a Portrait Subject]

I am the obese man. I am 47 years old. Every day, I live through the same shit; the only difference is the date on the calendar in my tiny cubicle; my tiny cubicle only fits my desk and chair; I lift the embarrassment that is called my stomach in my hands and shove myself in my tiny cubicle. In my youth, my schoolmates would call me names: “Hey, Fatso!” “Hey, Blimp!” “Hey, Whale!” “Hey, Lard Ass!” I’d slowly walk home with my head hung low as the other children pelted me with the desserts left over from their lunch boxes. When I’d get home, my divorcee mother would lock herself in her room, sobbing. I’d eat away our tears. Nothing has changed since then, besides the name calling. The names are now stares. The only thing I want to do when I get home is stand in the shower — naked, exposed. HOW MUCH OF ME DO YOU REALLY SEE?

Monday, September 28, 2009

NUDE GALLERY Part X

Preview

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NUDE GALLERY Part X

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NUDE GALLERY Part X
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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Control (I Bet You Think This Poem's About You)

Forgive me, Janet,
but it happened during a conversation
about whether you had your breasts
enlarged or your stomach flattened
or your ass tightened (or all three
or any two of the three).
That’s when I realized
how closely revising a poem
could resemble (or “seam/seem like”) plastic surgery, and how those of us who have them
(poems or plastic surgeries)
try to keep things to ourselves. And so
not only is this poem for you, but it is you,
because, after all, don’t you get sick of being critiqued?
A poem (yes, a poem, not a poet)
once taught me how good it feels
not to have any eyes with you. 
Scratch “with you.”
I meant “on you.”
I’m sure you can relate,
as you spend your not-so-free time
hoping your personal life
isn’t ferreted out of the album notes,
interpreted from the lilt of your voice,
or treated as if you’re nothing more
than an image in a 60 year long music video.  Like Tina. By the way,
I was the dude in that nasty car eatin’ that nasty food
jammin’ to your nasty groove.
And I dig your hair frizzy. 
Likewise, I dig my poems raw,
which is just my exaggerated way
of saying I dig poems with rough edges. And people too.
Did I mention I didn’t offer an opinion
about your ass, stomach, or cup size?
But if you ask me,
I think you should edit that mole. 
Exactly why did you put it in there anyway? 
Scratch that.
I meant “on there.”
I’m actually serious (do you realize that?)
when I say I’d do anything for the satisfaction
of writing a poem that could move like you.  Dance like you.
Sing(e) like a moth to a flame.
That’s
the
way
poems go, I guess.
Give them your thoughts, get back a penny.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Kill the automata.

I have something to tell you.

:| Give me a minute.

10 min later…

I have something to tell you.

:| Yeah sure, give me a minute.

20 min later…

I have something to tell you.

:| Of course give me a minute.

KISS-MY-ASS.

Tunes:

La fille du vent – Olivia Ruiz

La Femme Chocolat – Olivia Ruiz

Spit The Devil – Olivia Ruiz

Monday, September 21, 2009

Kelly Clarkson - I'm the number 1 fan of my ass!

The American singer doesn’t seem bothered at all by the malicious comments he hears almost every day about her weight. Kelly said she’s proud of her curves and that the part she admire the most is her ass. “I know I have a generous bust, but I can take pride in my ass too. I’m my ass’s biggest fan! If more and more girls do silicone implant to have larger breasts, a few can take pride with an ass like mine” said the artist.
“I like that I can fill a pair of jeans” added Kelly.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

My Pussy Gets Licked and Finger Fucked

THE SEXY STUD FOR HIRE continued…

Read after, “I love to suck and worship cocks.”

I’d just given Gavin a blow job with a finger insertion into his asshole that I know he didn’t expect. Now, here I was straddling him, my cunt juices dripping all over his legs and I had his cock in my mouth again.

I’m so lucky.

“Fuck Delaynee, you’re so sexy,” he said as he tried to grasp my tits.

I sucked his soft cock into my mouth. I loved the way it felt on my tongue. It got me really excited and I knew Gavin could smell the scent of my pussy in the air.

“Mmmmm.”

I licked his balls one at a time and massaged his thighs as his prick started to stiffen.

“Damn girl.”

I loved the fact that he called me girl when I was 13 years older than him.

I sat up, still in the straddle position and played with my tits, giving his cock a little break.

I squeezed my right breast and cupped it into my hand. I sucked my nipple into my mouth and then released it.

Gavin tried again to reach between my legs and touch my dripping pussy, but I managed to wiggle out of his reach. I knew I was weak and if he touched my clit, I’d cum and squirt my juices everywhere. I also knew I was being a little selfish wanting to suck on his juicy prick again.

“You think you’re going to suck me again without letting me lick your kitty Delaynee?”

And it was over, in one fast move Gavin had lifted me off him and pinned me on the bed and was now straddling me.

I was pissed.

“No, don’t . . .” I protested.

But it was too late. Gavin was already nose deep beneath my legs and it felt amazing. I hadn’t had a man in my pussy in years.

He was taking long licks with his tongue pressed flat from my asshole to the hood of my clit.

“Oh shit,” I said.

“Oh shit is so right baby,” Gavin said. “Your pussy is so wet.”

I knew it was wet, I knew my body made extra cunt juices and I knew what was about to happen.”

I tried to push his face away, fighting him off, and squirming under my touch.

He slid up to my face and started kissing me in gentle kisses.

“Don’t worry Delaynee,” Gavin said. “I know you’re scared.”

I turned my face from him and he kissed me down my neck.

 “I’ve read your books,” Gavin said. “No one is that strong all the time.”

He slipped his fingers between my slit and started finger fucking me.

“Even the Goddess is vulnerable,” Gavin said kissing my lips more passionately now.

He pulled back for a moment and looked into my eyes.

“Let me love you babe,” Gavin said. “Cum to me.”

His words relaxed me and I let my legs drop open. I no longer felt like I had to please him first a couple of times to guarantee that he would take the time to make me cum.

I always was an overachiever, and there was no room for over-thinking the way he was stroking my clitty.

“I trust you.”

I have never felt so vulnerable, yet I was ready for him to take me as he pleased.

I wanted him.

Gavin kissed his way down my body, stopping for a moment to nibble on my hip. I had both of my hands on the back of his head. I was ready.

Gavin nestled in between my legs again, placing his tongue on my shaven cunt lips.

“Aaaa,” I gasped letting small breaths escape from my parted lips.

Gavin slowly massaged my clit with his fingers, watching my reaction as I arched my back and swiveled my slender hips under his touch.

He focused on my clit with his thumb, and then slid his index and middle fingers inside my pussy, massaging it.

My whole pussy was aching, contracting, wanting to cum. The build-up was intense.

“Ga… gav…”

My turn to be speechless.

He smiled. He liked pleasing me and I couldn’t wait to fuck him.

“Don’t stop,” I begged as I lunged at his tongue that was now flicking and sucking my clit as he was finger fucking me with two fingers.

I grabbed the back of his head as I started to orgasm.

My cunt juices gushed out and Gavin lapped at them as I came. His face was covered in my pussy cream.

“Oh my God,” he said. “Delaynee that was amazing. You’re amazing.”

Reality check.

I turned my face away from him, the reality of my letting loose sinking in. I was mixed with pleasure and shame. I didn’t understand it.

Gavin knew something was wrong and he climbed up beside me and held me.

“Don’t do that Delaynee,” he said as though he knew what I was thinking. “I’m here with you, don’t leave me.”

“I don’t know why, the rush of my orgasm, makes me feel like this.”

“It’s beautiful,” Gavin said. “You’re amazing. You have a gift. You’re special.”

I wanted to feel special, but I wasn’t used to it and Gavin knew it.

He pulled the sheet across our nude bodies and wrapped his arms around me and just held me.

I knew after we rested, we’d make love.

Cigars are good for the soul not for anything else though.

So every once in a while I enjoy a nice cigar. I haven’t in a while but tonight after my bands show I had some time to kill and we smoked some in the parking lot.

It was hot, unfulfilling, and it took forever. I no longer get the “cigar sickness” associated with cigars (not a total newb anymore). But I’m done with em.

There. I said it. Blah.

On a side note, I’m writing this from Twin Peaks with my band. And we managed to get the least attractive waitress. This is a common trend in my life. Stay tuned for more on that topic.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My Umi Says.... We are an amazing people!!

Check out this morning glory!!

http://www.dimecurves.com/index.html

Black men love ass. Therefore, its to be expected that there are ass growth pills.

I guess if white women can have boob booster pills, why not?  Right?  I mean, it only stands to reason that if you can pump up one area, you can do the same in another.

The best part?  The gallery of asses.  The before and after bootays that weren’t created by squats or an abundance of greens w/ fatback.   No sireee.

The best part!! Or maybe not.

Anywhoo.  I’m going to continue humming My Umi.  Until next time….

I love to suck and worship cocks

Read after, “Seduction in the Park Makes My Pussy Very Wet.”

Gavin and I were giggling like crazy by the time we reached the top of the steps to my apartment. We hadn’t been drinking, but it was obvious we were intoxicated on love… or lust.

We burst in through my door and Gavin took me into his arms and pressed me against it.

When our lips connected sparks flew through my body. I’d heard of electric kisses before, but now I was experiencing one.

Our tongues darted and flicked out of each other’s mouth. I have an oral fixation so I spent a little extra time licking Gavin’s lips, and gliding my tongue across his polished teeth.

My pussy was dripping like crazy making my panties wet and sticky. I knew he smelt my scent, but if he’d really read my books, he must have known what was coming next.

I wanted to run my tongue and lips across his beautiful prick.

I took Gavin by the hand and led him back to my bedroom. I purposely placed him at the end of my bed and our eyes met as did our lips for another heated kiss.

I couldn’t restrain myself though and unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts. They dropped to the floor and as he stepped out of them, he kicked off his sandals.

His boxer briefs drew tightly across his stiff cock. A wet spot formed across the straining material at the tip.

Pre-cum, yummy.

“Wait,” he said as I started to tug down his underwear and release his dick from it’s captivity. “I want to smell your scent from your panties.”

I teasingly lifted my simple skirt revealing their pink lace.

He tugged them off, but I backed away from his seeking lips just as he tried to graze my clit with them.

“Nu, uh, uh…” I said. “Not until you cum to me, twice.”

I stepped out of the silky material. He took them and inhaled their sexy scent.

His cock twitched.

“Mmmmm.”

I knelt before his erection still contained inside his briefs. I felt like it was Christmas morning and a nice thick juicy cock was on my wish list and I was about to get everything I’d ever asked for.

I slowly peeled off his underwear and as I did, his cock sprung to attention as it flopped out before my salivating mouth.

“Mouthwatering,” I said pushing him back on my bed in a seated position.

“You’re so damn sexy,” he said.

“Thank you.”

I responded as I started bobbing my mouth up and down onto his delicious prick.

Being shy is so overrated.

I took my left hand and stretched the skin of his shaft down toward his balls, and in a twisting motion I used my right hand to stroke his perfect prick as I devoured his bulbous head with my tongue and lips.

His cock filled my mouth full and I loved how every once in awhile he’d push my head down onto it.

You’ve got the Goddess giving you a blow job now baby.

After several minutes of stroking and twisting, licking and sucking he looked like he was about to cum.

I pulled off him and started to take off my shirt.

Gavin helped me and as he did he pulled off my matching lace bra.

My big tits flopped out, bouncing with joy upon their release. He immediately took them into his hands and started playing with them. He still had my sticky panties in his hand and I could smell my scent.

“When you cum Gav, I want you to shoot your jizz all over my big titties.”

He nodded.

I continued to give him a blow job. I sucked his balls into my mouth one at a time and licked the shaft of his prick getting it super wet.

My spit ran down his shaft of his cock, soaking it and my fingers. I continued to suck on his dick and jack him off with one hand as I slipped my index finger, ever so gently into his asshole.

“Oh fuck,” he said.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. That was a Goddess trademark skill.

He started spewing strands of cum into the back of my throat, then pulled out leaving it stringing onto my lips, chin and finally splashing down across my big titties.

“Fuck ya Gavin, you’re so sexy baby.”

“De, d, d….”

He stuttered as I slipped my finger a little further inside his asshole and continued to jack his cock dry.

Speechless.

When Gavin was finished shooting his hot load I pulled my finger out, and dropped my skirt.

He layed back on my bed, breathless.

I climbed on top of him and straddled his muscular thighs, being careful not to let my pussy touch him in any way or get too close to his dick yet.

Our eyes met and he raised an eyebrow, wondering what I was about to do.

That’s when I went back down on his soft cock to get him hard again, and suck him until orgasm one more time before we fucked.

It was going to be a fun night.

Friday, September 18, 2009

PERJANTAI PERSEET,, rammstein pillua PUSSY,

Rammsteinin uuden Pussy-nimisen kappaleen video on kielletty alle 18-vuotiailta, eikä syyttä.

Rohkealla vihjailulla alkava video kääntyy loppua kohden silkaksi pornoksi. Alun itseään tarjoavat tuhmat sihteerit ja sisäköt vaihtuvat pian suoranaiseen pornoon kaikilla alan elokuvien kliseillä höystettynä

EMMÄÄTIÄ VITTU ENMÄÄ TÄLLASTA HALUU VITTU KATTOO,,MUUTENKI TOI KOKO ILMAKITARA HOMMA IHA TYHMÄÄ MUN MIELESTÄ,,

TÄNÄÄ RYYPÄTÄÄN!!! KIPPIS KULAUS!!! JUODAAN TAAS!!!

Viäki tehokkaampi katumus pilleri!

Markkinoille on tulossa pilleri, joka tepsii myös mattimyöhäisillä.

JOS KADUTTAA Markkinoille on pian tulossa jälkiehkäisypilleri, joka tepsii myös mattimyöhäisillä, sillä se täytyy ottaa viiden vuorokauden sisällä aktista.

Jos kondomi on mennyt rikki, e-pilleri jäänyt ottamatta tai ehkäisy unohtunut kokonaan, on aika ottaa jälkiehkäisypilleri. Aiemmin Suomessa myyty valmiste, Norlevo, tehoaa ainoastaan, jos se otetaan kolmen vuorokauden kuluessa suojaamattomasta yhdynnästä. Pian markkinoille on tulossa pilleri, joka tepsii myös mattimyöhäisillä, sillä se täytyy ottaa viiden vuorokauden sisällä aktista.

Leiraksen markkinoima EllaOne perustuu ulipristaaliin, joka estää progesteronin raskautta ylläpitävän vaikutuksen. Mekanismi on uusi, sillä esimerkiksi Norlevo toimii estämällä munasolun kiinnittymisen kohdun seinämään. Yli 15-vuotiaat voivat ostaa Norlevoa ilman reseptiä apteekeista. EllaOne sen sijaan vaatii lääkärin kirjoittaman reseptin. Viestintäjohtaja Malla Hintsala Leirakselta kertoo, että tuotteen pidempi toiminta-aika onkin merkittävä parannus aiempiin valmisteisiin.

- Kyllähän tuo pidempi aika ehdottomasti on EllaOnen etu. Voisi kuvitella, että tuon viiden päivän aikana ehtisi sitten lääkäriinkin keskustelemaan asiasta ja hakemaan reseptin.

EllaOne tulee myyntiin Ruotsissa jo lokakuussa. Hitsala arvioi, että tuote tulee Suomen-markkinoille mahdollisesti marraskuussa. Vielä aikataulu ei kuitenkaan ole varma.

KATUMUSPILLERI SETIT KUNTOO!!!!,,,JA MUUTENKI MUISTAKAA HARRASTAA TURVASEXIÄ KOSKA RASKAANA OLEVAT TYTTÖYSTÄVÄT RIKKOO AVIOLIITOT JA MUUT,,,,!!!!!!!!!

KATUMUSPILLEREISTÄ PUHEENOLLE,,,,NUSSISIKKO??,,,

NOVITTUENITEN!!!!!!!! KIITOS!!

LEGO ARCADEEE,,,JOKU JAXANNU VÄSÄTÄ HUH,,,

Yhdysvaltalaisnäyttelijä Patrick Swayze on menehtynyt. Haimasyöpää sairastanut Swayze oli kuollessaan 57-vuotias.

VITTU TOI KANYE KERKEE KANS JOKAPAIKKAA,,,,

HETKINEN,,,,JACK VAI HEATH????,,,TOIHA ON VITTU TASAPELI !!!!!!!!!!!!!

SUPERNÄTTIÄ HOMMAAA PIIRAKKA-ALUE???,,,RIPSIPIIRAKKAA KANS???

SILLÄVÄLIN KU TE KAADATTE JUOMIA PÄÄLLENNE MÄÄ PUHUN RIVOO PASKAA TEIDÄN ÄMMILLE,,,,

VIELÄ VÄHÄ VIINAA NIIN KYLLÄ SAXET AUKEE,,,PUOLITANGOSSA ON JO!!!!!!!!!

TÄSSÄHÄN ON TUTTUJA NAAMOJA,,,,BOOTS JA TOM MORELLO,,,STREET SWEEPER SOCIAL CLUB–100 LITTLE CURSES

TOSIMIEHET EI KASVA KOSKAA AIKUISIX,,LELUT VAA VAIHTUU VÄHÄ…

REENIÄ HORO REENIÄ MUTTA KUKA VITTU TOSTA NY MAXAAA????????? HERÄÄNNY!!!

HEY DUDE WHERES MY DUDE, DUDE????

MIKÄ ILMASTONMUUTOS??,,,KANANMUNAN PAISTOO AURINGOSSA,,,KYÄKATO HELPPOO VITTU NYKYÄÄ,,,SITTEKU RÖÖKI SYTTYY ITESTÄÄ AURINGONPAISTEESSA SILLON ON JO VITUN KIIRE SINNE VITUN MARSSIIN,,,,

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Styling Lesson No2 - Wardrobe Essentials : The Trench Coat!

There are some specific items that every man must have in his closet. One of the top priorities is the classic trench coat. There is no man that doesn’t look good in one and its so versatile that can be matched even with jeans for a more casual look. If you don’t want to look like a 20’s police agent be sure to avoid big fedora hats and remember to keep the accessories to a minimum. BLING OFF! The coat alone makes the statement!

So if your SL closet doesn’t include one…go and buy one NOW!

Hermes is wearing:

Skin: [ SKIN ][ Adam Crius_Origin ][ Chin Beard ]

Hair: Aitui – Hair – The Scheduler – Black

Coat: !_Ce Cubic effect Leather Coat(Black)

Shirt: Schadenfreude White Oxford Shirt

Tie: Schadenfreude Electro-Cute Skull Necktie (edited)

Cardigan: A:S:S – Sloppy Cardigan

Pants: Emery – Daft pants

Boots: ROT test boots

Sunglasses: Emery – Sunglasses Aviator (Silver Frames)

Cigarette: .:Hermony:. FilterCigarette

Monday, September 14, 2009

Monday Link Dump

Serena Williams is a Cunt (Barstool Sports)

Kanye West is a Piece of Shit (Barstool Sports)

Top 10 Celebrities That Probably Have Really Bad Gas (Manofest)

Cris Collinsworth LOVES the Ladies (Sports by Brooks)

The Best College Gameday Signs So Far of 2009 (Busted Coverage)

Shameless Photoshop jobs (Coed)

We Still LOVE Katy Perry’s Tits (UMC)

Georgia State Troopers Don’t Like Steve Spurrier (Rivals)

Who is the Best Movie Prostitute (Gunaxin)

Celebrities Spotted at the US Open (World of Isaac)

Hello Teri Hatcher’s Puss (Drunken Stepfather)

How Tila Tequila Really Got Her Ass Kicked (D Listed)

Here Are Naomi Campbell’s Tits Again (Celeb Punani)

Peeping Tom Fail (Efukt)

And Good Morning to Holly Madison’s Tits (Hey Man)

A Travel Guide to North Korea? (VBS)

How Did Bar RefaeliGet This Dress On? (Beer Goggler)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Sexy Stud for Hire

This is the first posting in the new blog series “The Sexy Stud for Hire.” Read each posting that follows after this date to read the story in order. ~ Thanks, Delaynee Sinclair

It was late one night, and I was nestled in front of my computer getting ready to write my next sexual love story. I wished it were my own. I knew it could be, if only I’d take a chance. Just as I started to type, my manager telephoned me. .

            “Delaynee, someone has contacted me about writing a companion book to ‘The Goddess.’ I think you should go for it.”

            I bit my bottom lip, and powered off my computer.

            “I’m not sure if ‘The Goddess’ is ready for a companion. My books are best-sellers. A companion may drag them down.” 

            My manager tried to advise me, but I can be pretty stubborn.

            “You’ve cranked out three erotic books in as many years, and would it be so bad if you had a companion?” 

            I sat in the darkness licking my wounds.

            “Delaynee, I know you’ve remained strong since your break-up. You’ve pushed through your pain, and made your life successful without him. You should be happy about that, but maybe it’s time you created with someone else for awhile.”

            I cracked my window a little, letting the cool night air blow in. 

            “I’ll take it into consideration,” I whispered as I hung up the phone.

            I crawled under my covers, alone. I wanted to numb myself with sleep, but I was restless. I was afraid if I opened myself up, I’d become vulnerable again.

            If I write with someone else, they’ll want to do public relations stuff and I want to remain anonymous. That’s why I like my pen name.

            I was restless falling asleep. My mind was racing with thoughts of how I just wanted to blend in with my surroundings.

            I’m just the woman that owns the book/coffee shop.

            The summer night air blew across my skin. My eyes finally grew heavy and I fell asleep.

            The next day at work I was back in the stockroom. I overheard a man questioning one of my employees.

            Is he asking about my book?

            I could hear my employee tell him they were sold out, and they’d be restocked in a couple of days.

            I knew I had several cases upstairs in my apartment over the bookstore, but I couldn’t let my employee’s know that I was the writer.

            They’d laugh me out of business if they knew their boss was sucking cock on paper.

            I moved closer to the door and tried to get a glimpse of the man with the sexy voice.

            “I’d love to meet the woman who writes those books,” he said. “I’d get down on one knee, and propose marriage.” 

            “Is it about the sex?” The employee asked.

            “No, it’s, about the connection I feel to her words,” he said. “I feel like she’s written them just for me.” 

My curiosity got the best of me and I walked back into my store. I made my way around the shelving unit to get a better look at my secret admirer, but it was too late. He was leaving.

Nice ass.

            “Did you see that guy?” the young female employee questioned. “Wow!  Someone should tell that writer she has an admirer!” 

I froze in my tracks. 

            “Are you okay?”

            “I will be.”

            Days pass and I was closing up shop one evening. All of my employees had gone, and I wished that I had someone to talk to. 

I unclipped my hair, letting it fall down past my shoulders. I heard the bells on the door jingle, and turned around to see a handsome man standing before me. 

            “Is it too late?” 

            Good God.

            I was taken aback by his angelic face. His eyes are as brown as fudge, and his smile could light up the night sky. I felt myself blushing at my hesitation, but finally responded.

            “It’s never too late.” 

            I re-clipped my hair and a few pieces fell out of place, gently framing my face.

            “How about a tall cup of whatever your roast of the day is?”

I poured him his coffee.

“Do you mind if I just grab a book real quick?”

“Not at all,” I said. “Purchasing books at my store keeps me in business.”

I winked, he smiled.

Drip, drip, drip. My pussy is loving this guy.

He heads straight to the romance section and comes back to the counter with my book, “The Goddess.” 

It’s a good thing I restocked that.

            “Good choice,” I replied knowing my secret was safe. 

            “Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee”

            He asked while paying for his purchases.

            “Ya, sure, why not?”

            Holy shit this guy is so sexy.

            I poured myself an espresso and took a seat across from my extremely hot, late night customer

He took a drink of the warm soothing brew, and our eyes met.

            “My name is Gavin, and I am a mechanic/book critic.” 

            I raised my eyebrow.

            “I’m Delaynee, and I’m speechless.”

            He smiled at me and we laughed, breaking the tension.

            “I was working on someone’s car one day and she had the first book of this series in her seat,” he said. “I was curious and read it in two hours.”

I smiled.

“Did you charge her for the labor during those two hours?”

“No, but I thanked her.”

            “What is it that you like about the stories?” I asked. “I mean, you’re a guy, and these stories are meant for women.”

            “Well, love is a universal language,” he said. “So I wouldn’t think the stories would exclude men, but to try to answer your question, the author, it’s as though, she writes her hearts desires, letting the Goddess represent her. Her characters are so lifelike. I can feel their vulnerabilities. I just want to call them on the phone, and send them my love. You probably think I’m crazy…”

            His voice trailed off, and he blushed. 

            “No, I think it’s lovely that I’ve been able to evoke such emotion out of such a big, strong guy.”

            “I’ve?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you mean A. Starling?”

            Holy shit. How could I have made such a stupid slip of the lip?

            “I am A. Starling, the woman who penned that book.” I said feeling a flush of relief run through my body as I continued. “I’ve always wanted someone to write something like that for me, but instead I’ve written them for others.”

            I think Gavin almost fell off his chair and was genuinely floored by my admission.

            “You wrote these books?” He said. “Your husband is a lucky man.” 

            “Oh, I’m alone.”

            His eyes lit up.

             “Go out with me, tomorrow night,” he said. “I’ll pick you up here and…” 

            “I am not ready to date.” 

            I lowered my eyes hoping he couldn’t see the sorrow I was hiding.

            “Then I’ll be here for you, until you are.” 

            I raised my eyes as I sipped my coffee. I couldn’t help but stare at his determined face, and bulging biceps.

            Shit, I am screwed. I think he means it.

 

To be continued…

[Via http://tangledembrace.wordpress.com]

Friday, September 11, 2009

Friday Link Dump

9 Women Rescued From Fake “Big Brother” House (Barstool Sports)

10 Celebrities Caught Pissing Their Pants (Manofest)

Welcome to the Party; Rodney Harrison Hates TO (Sports by Brooks)

The 7 Most Annoying People on Your Company Softball Team (Holy Taco)

Top 10 Actores Originally Considered for Movie Roles They Didn’t get (Super Tremendous)

12 Horror Movie Babes You Should Know About (Screen Junkies)

Oprah Has Not Actually Watched the Erin Andrews Peephole Videos (Busted Coverage)

What Has This World Come To? Dogs Humping Cats Videos….. (Coed)

A Preview of the Week 2 College Football Cheerleaders (Coed)

Girls Picking Wedgies; A Gallery (Regretful Morning)

14 Hot Japanese Chicks You Have Never Heard Of (Gunaxin)

Pictures of Chicks That Love Weed (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Katy Perry Let’s Fans Play With Her Ass (Celebrity Odor)

[Via http://intheatltoday.com]

Goodbye bad boy, hello stud!

That was the last chapter of “The New York City Bad Boy.” It was such a sexy story, filled with sexual fantasy, romance and even love – yes love. Keep the sexy thoughts pulsing through your throbbing loins because tomorrow my writer will post the new erotic blog novella, “The Sexy Stud for Hire.” Where there will be just as much cock sucking, cum drinking, fucking, pussy licking, and new ways to fuck and in new places. My big tits will be bouncing and my clit will be jiggling with the “The Sexy Stud for Hire.” My pussy wants to gush a creamy orgasm just thinking about how sexciting it’s going to be. I’m one lucky fictional character! ~ Delaynee

[Via http://tangledembrace.wordpress.com]

Thursday, September 10, 2009

This is EPIC

The man who writes my subjects is not lying. This IS epic. This was Sunday, April 19th. It was karaoke at The Drawing Room. It was a night just filled with stuff. I think I cloud easily do these pages as individual posts but I think that part of what makes them great is that they all happened on one night. So here we go. 9 pages.

The first two pages set the scene with some fine-assed ladies. In the lower left is the bartender from the Drawing Room. She is so very hot. AND she gave me her email address. I sent her some pictures from this night. I don’t think she ever wrote me back. But still. Email address. That’s a victory in itself. And the next time I went to Karaoke at the Drawing Room she introduced me to her mom while I was stealing a 10′x20′ area rug. So it’s like I’m part of the family!

Pages 3 and 4 are a verbatim (more or less) transcript of a conversation I had with this particular fine-assed lady. I think she was drunk. I think she might have also been stupid. It is also possible that she was sober and a genius. Actually if she was sober she had to be a genius because that was some of the best acting I’ve ever seen. Shit. I bet she’s a sober genius. She didn’t want to be my girlfriend. She just wanted to make fun of me. I bet she was made to feel small by the power of my performance. Man, what a bitch.

The third set of pages is the only evidence of who I was at the Drawing Room with this night. I wouldn’t have remembered if I didn’t have these pictures. Thanks to the strong-assed drinks made by the fine-assed bartender most Drawing Room nights run together in my mind. On this particular night though, I was there with Natalie and Diane. Diane always hates pictures of herself. I have a tough time not making that personal. Natalie got her butt grabbed by a girl. At least that’s what she claimed. She exaggerates sometimes. After the alleged ass incident, Natalie asked me if she looked like a lesbian. I explained that it is only in very extreme cases of lesbianism that you can tell someone is a lesbian by looking. Most lesbians just look like female humans. Yeah. I’m a champion of gay rights. An Ally if you will.

Pages 7 and 8 are two more fine-assed ladies, one who’s ass was slightly finer than the other. I like my reasons for not taking a picture of her ass. Read them.

And the 9th and final page is me. Being sad about all the fine-assed ladies. I can’t explain it exactly. It is like I live in a world where there are all these ice cream cones floating around. And I really want an ice cream cone. But, I’m too afraid to take the ice cream cones so I go without. So every time I see a particularly delicious looking ice cream cone, like a vanilla soft serve in a cake cone, or a banana strawberry in a sugar cone, or a pralines and cream in a waffle cone, I get a little sad. But of course when ever someone offers me an ice cream cone I slap it out of their hand onto the sidewalk below and go home and watch Mythbusters. So why do I still get sad? I obviously don’t want any damn ice cream cone. Oh my stupid brain. I swear it’s gonna kill me one of these days.

[Via http://jedediahjohnson.wordpress.com]